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What You Deserve 2.0

Did he finish first? Are you satisfied? How long was it? Has it gotten any better? Are you used to the routine?

Let me help change some of your answers! Keep reading, girl!

Love, desire, intimacy. These are “skills that need cultivating, not merely feelings,” according to expert Esther Perel. These emotions are dynamic and active - talents you have to practice to get right (like underwater basket-weaving or opening jars on the first try). To desire is imbued with intention and responsibility. And it is a verb.

Perel believes there are 7 verbs that are essential to a desire-filled relationship:

  • To ask

  • To take

  • To receive

  • To give

  • To share

  • To refuse

  • To play/imagine

Here's a scenario for you: your partner's parents are in town, but they has to work for a few hours on one of the days. Of course you're going to offer to show your in-laws around, and of course your partner is going to feel awful about it — but it's the give and take between you that strengthens the foundation of your relationship.

When it comes to the successes and failures of life itself, to share all of that with your partner (and all of the small moments that lead up to them) is one of the best parts of having them in your corner. For instance, if you have a boss that's sending you mixed signals about a promotion and it's affecting your demeanor, share your feelings! Sharing is caring, guys.

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